Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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