I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
