I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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