All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
