you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
