At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
