In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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