I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm always down for nudity.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
