I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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