The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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