Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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