God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
