why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
