My balls are so social today.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Randomize
