chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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