her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just want to make out with him forever
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
