I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
