she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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