Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
