You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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