Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
