Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
