tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
