You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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