I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
