I have demons in me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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