She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
