Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
