I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
