You're a womanizer and a bitch.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
