why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
