Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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