I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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