i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
