i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
