And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
