she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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