girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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