I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
