Mom said you looked used
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
