you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
