Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
