spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
