my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
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