Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
