you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
