As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
