Non-Jews are for practice
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
