she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
