If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I think people are normalizing furries
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
