found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
