I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
