vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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