I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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