I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
