Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I will pee on everything he values.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
